4 Ways to Reclaim Your Authority Without Burning Out (Empower)
Burnout is NOT a badge of honor, neither is resilience, or carrying the strong Black woman trope. I walked away from all of the labels and labor that kept me bound to a reality that put me last on my list of things to do.
I walked away from everything from 2022, until now. I was so burned out I couldn’t speak coherent sentences. I went on a whole-life retreat, a spiritual sabbatical. I took my website down, disconnected from all social media and I RESTED. I decided that I never wanted to learn another lesson about self-abandonment.
Single mom, entreprenuer, council woman, community advocate, leader, teacher, Air Force veteran, are just a few of the many hats, I’ve worn at one time. I will be honest, I am a recovering work-aholic and over doer. Doing everything outside of myself allowed me to overlook and dismiss my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional needs. I don’t know about you, but I became a dumping ground and a picked over clearance rack for professionals.
Talk about giving more than I was receiving. Taking on responsibility after responsibility just because I could. Each day ended in exhaustion and I was overlooked despite my efforts. A high-impact Black woman carrying the weight of other’s expectations while sacrificing my own energy, authority, and recognition.
Does this sound familiar or relatable?
If so… good news is, my breakdown is now the setup for your breakthrough! And now that I am overflowing, I get to share how my breakdown was the set up for my BREAKTHROUGH. Here are 4 actions I took to reclaim my authority:
Black Women Creatives Event At The Brooklyn Museum-2022
4 Ways to Reclaim Your Authority
Prune Your Circle and Audit Your Spirtual Garden
NO! Is A Complete Sentence, Boundaries Are Not Optional
Identify Your 20/80
Journal Your Gratitude
Prune your circle and audit your spiritual garden. I’m not gon’ lie, I couldn’t even explain and I didn’t. I realized that I needed to take a look at everything. I removed all hats, labels, commitments, etc. And you should too. Anything that was draining my energy, not producing any edible fruit, or providing a return on investment was removed, released, and rejected. It’s time to identify what’s necessary versus optional. Ask your self what (people, places, or things) are no longer serving me? Next…
NO! Is a complete sentence, boundaries are NOT optional. Boundaries are my best friend and we are in a long-term committed relationship. Listen to me, just because you can does NOT mean that you should. Your time, spiritual, and emotional labor are valuable. Stop carrying labor that doesn’t belong to you. Boundaries protect you, they are your greatest tool for reclaiming your AUTHORITY. If you are new to boundaries, take sometime to determine what your non-negotiable are (personally and professionally). Do you remember the “Just Say No!”campaign in school, well reclaim that.
Identify your 20/80. My schedule was ridiculous, who told me I was a machine? I was doing the most and the least. The math was not mathin’! I knew that I never wanted to hear grind, hustle, push, bootstrap, or any other word/ phrase that dis-regulated my nervous system and promoted over performance. So I took some time to identify how I could do less, but with bigger impact. Once I restored my capacity to around 90%, I decided to create a budget for my energy. 20/80, instead of performing 80% of task, I decided to only do 20% of the tasks that would create the most impact 80% of the time. Ask yourself, what high-impact tasks that make up 20% of my total tasks will produce 80% of your desired results. Lastly…
Journal your gratitude. Daily gratitude turned into affirmations, that restored me in ways that I don’t know if I have the words for in this moment.But I will share that gratitude reminders became a form of therapy. It cleared so much space. I made sure that the 20% of meetings, tasks, and decisions aligned with my larger intentions for the day, month, quarter, year. Journaling gratitude helped me align and easily identify when I was over-performing. So get you a journal, mini post-it notes or the large wall post-it notes and write down the things you are grateful for and post them where you can see them everyday!
Whew Chile… I’m done writing, this almost took up my 20%, so now I got to go. But I am grateful that I get to share my breakdowns into breakthroughs with you. Thank you for reading. Let me know if this resonated with you…
P.S. Reclaiming your authority is NOT about doing more, it’s about doing what matters intentionally, strategically, and authentically self-preserving:)!
